Do you need to stop a compulsive habit? Maybe its gambling, buying, internet scrolling, social media addiction, binge eating…. the sky is the limit when it comes avoidance strategies. Human beings are fabulous are coming up with self-soothing crutches.
Is a habit affecting your life, or are you searching for ways to prevent a relapse into a self-soothing habit that seems to have a will of its own? Do you feel like addiction is running out of control? Are there guilty thoughts that reinforce the habit? Pacifying strategies almost work, kinda, sometimes. You are pursuing a goal through a flawed strategy: it’s impossible to get enough of something that doesn’t fully work, and so you do it to excess.
Sound familiar? If so, ask yourself what is the need you’re trying to fulfil. Or the pain that you’re trying to soothe. Or the fear that you dare not face.
There is probably a story inside you that the pacifying action is intended to absolve. We feel a brief burst of control that quickly dissipates, often to be replaced by a sense of guilt or shame.
Instead, follow the feeling. Look for the message behind it and go in that direction with a bucket full of kindness. Find out what the pain is beneath it and own it. Lean into it. Give it permission to breathe. Don’t run away from it. Embrace it. Hug it. Be its best friend. Hear it. Let it speak. And see if, in doing so, you can come up with different choices and different actions.
Because once you’ve stopped avoiding the underlying feeling, your perspective on it is free to change. And that’s how permanent changes are made: by changing your worldview.
I have a much longer (and less comfortable) video on the same subject here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7Suee3nVqU
Want to talk? Find me here!
https://authenticlifecoaching.ch/free-clarity-session/
#avoidance #addiction #changeyourlife #lifecoaching #changeyourthoughts #compulsive #compulsion #addictive #quitsugar #quitsmoking #quitalcohol #quitdrinking #loneliness
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